Holland Expat – Lucky Poop

20 Jun
Second floor window getting cleaned by brush attached to hose. The Dutchman said their equipment is made in Ohio.

Second floor window getting cleaned by brush attached to hose. The Dutchman said their equipment is made in Ohio.

When we lived in Italy near the US Army Post the locals had a saying, “You can tell where the Americans live by the dirt on the windows.” In the Netherlands it wasn’t long after our move-in that the window cleaning service came by to let us know the previous tenants got all the exterior glass cleaned once a month for 40 euro. Did we want to sign up? No.

However, we were hosting a dinner party recently and I happened to notice the pollen and such on our windows. So I gave the service a call. I’m so glad I did or I might never have learned about Lucky Poop.

See, there’s this huge splat of bird poo in our driveway that I swear was dropped by a low flying condor. So when the window cleaner brought up the stuff…well, it went like this.

(Heavy Dutch accent) “I stepped in de *hit over there.”

“Oh that bird poop is awful,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” he said, “de duck *hit.”

“It’s from a duck? I wouldn’t have thought theirs would be so large.”

“No. Duck *hit. Duck.”

Obviously I wasn’t understanding. “Duck?”

“No. In de grass. Duck. Bow-wow. Duck.”

“Oh, dog.”

“Yes. Duck.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, no. Good thing.”


“In de Nederlands we have a saying. Step in dog *hit, you lucky all day.”

Thanks to my dogs, I learned something I might never have known about this country we live in. And since our sons haven’t done that chore for a few days I figure we have one of the luckiest yards in Holland.


Kristin King is an author, publisher and US expat living in the Netherlands. Her top sellers are “Unsinkable Vampire” and “Cain’s Coven.”


Posted by on June 20, 2015 in Living in Holland


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3 responses to “Holland Expat – Lucky Poop

  1. kristinkingauthor

    February 27, 2017 at 3:46 am

    Good to note!

  2. Jasper Hoogendam

    January 16, 2017 at 7:44 am

    Your story reminds me of the time we rented the bottom floor of a 3 storey walk up in Amsterdam. Shortly after we moved in we were told in no uncertain terms that we were shirking our duty by not washing the stoop in front of the door. Found out we were expected to scrub it down with suds and water at least once a week. So it’s not just the windows that need to be kept sparkling.

  3. Melissa Wagner

    July 14, 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Hahaha- I get the best laughs from some of your blog posts! Miss you friend. 🙂


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